Sign of the times - funnies

the makers of pedigree chum dog food have gone bust!!!

 

 

the've had to call in the retrievers.

 

 mark's and spencers are going to merge with poundstretcher stores and call the new stores "stretchmarks"

 

 

                         ken anderson        

even worse-flasher in the local park exposed himself to three old ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

two had a stroke---------------but the third couldn't reach

 

 

                    it's the way you tell em ken anderson.

latest--bonsai bank are now talking about removing some branches----ouch.

 

                ken anderson.

Oh dear oh dear this is getting painfull Ken

 Keep it up though

hello phil--you've got to have a laugh--what about ken dodds---"what a good day for shoving a cucumber through your neighbours letterbox and shouting - run the aliens have landed"

 

  ken anderson.

what about the irishman on mastermind--magnus ask's him to name three fruit?

 

"two apples and a pear" he replies

 

 

                                       ken anderson.

An old chat up line of mine ( years ago ) was to introduce myself as a mind reader.

It goes something like this ----

" Think of a number between one and ten "

Whatever the reply  I said-

"You've lost - Take your clothes off ! "

It didn't literally work ever but it broke the ice so to speak

hands up--be honest -who thinks that the modern comic's are crepe?(not all)------ compared to the likes of cooper,doddy,emery etc,etc --

 

                                               ken anderson.

Yes, the majority are rubbish,relying on lavatory functions, disabilities, and foul language for their guffaws.

The real cause is the loss of the working man's clubs, where the act learned how to hold an audience, or be ignored. (or pelted with last weeks pork pie crusts!)

Even Jasper Carrott seems to have given up, and moved onto telly, on that stupid chance prog, golden spherical objects.

The last of the real comedians, to me, were Dawson, Milligan, Sellers, Charlie Williams etc. Who remembers Arthur Haynes? (Darn, I'm getting old!)

Clean, subtle, quick-fire humour, and nobody telling you when to laugh. No 'canned laughter'.

 Latest casualty  !!!
The local company making parachutes has had to be baled out

submarine makers have gone under-----------------here here- long live arthur haynes and his sidekick dermont kelly(the irishman)---look on u-tube you'll see some excellant old clip's of old comics--gone but not fogotten.

 

                                               ken anderson.