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  • 2 weeks later...

Disclosure : This advice has not been reviewed by certified Medical Practitioners ...
Subject: Medical advice
I realize that some of you might not answer Yes to any of the five questions,

but you might care to read on so you can share the advice

with other less perfect people you might encounter during life’s journey ...

 

I don’t understand why prescription medicine is allowed

to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying

one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings

of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

 

Do you suffer from shyness?

 

Do you wish you were a better conversationalist?

 

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

 

Do you sometimes feel stressed?

 

If you answered yes to any of these questions,

ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon ...

 

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better

and more confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness

and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

 

• You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon

almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses,

you'll overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want.

 

• Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past.

You will discover talents you never knew you had.

 

• Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it,

but women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming

pregnant are encouraged to try it.

 

Side Effects May Include :
▪︎ Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control,

loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,

headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke

and play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Warnings:
▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

 

▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

 

▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

 

▪︎The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

 

Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Scotch, Vodka or Bourbon and

of course Beer may be substituted for Cabernet Sauvignon, with similar results.

 

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On 20/03/2022 at 23:13, cymaz said:

Disclosure : This advice has not been reviewed by certified Medical Practitioners ...
Subject: Medical advice
I realize that some of you might not answer Yes to any of the five questions,

but you might care to read on so you can share the advice

with other less perfect people you might encounter during life’s journey ...

 

I don’t understand why prescription medicine is allowed

to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying

one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings

of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

 

Do you suffer from shyness?

 

Do you wish you were a better conversationalist?

 

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

 

Do you sometimes feel stressed?

 

If you answered yes to any of these questions,

ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon ...

 

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better

and more confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness

and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

 

• You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon

almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses,

you'll overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want.

 

• Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past.

You will discover talents you never knew you had.

 

• Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it,

but women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming

pregnant are encouraged to try it.

 

Side Effects May Include :
▪︎ Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control,

loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,

headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke

and play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Warnings:
▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

 

▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

 

▪︎ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

 

▪︎The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

 

Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Scotch, Vodka or Bourbon and

of course Beer may be substituted for Cabernet Sauvignon, with similar results.

 

Reminds me of the medical ads on American TV 10 seconds about the benefits and then 20 seconds telling you the possible side effects. The Viagra ad was the best after listening to the side effects i.e. Heart Attack, Bleeding and 20 other major effects you wouldn't take it!!

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For all of you fed up with mid afternoon traffic chaos.......

 

SCHOOL RUN RULES

 

Vehicle use is compulsory when the school is more than 50 yards from your house

 

Vehicles must be, as a minimum, a 7 seat people carrier, 4 x 4 or small HGV as appropriate.

 

Vehicles must not, under any circumstances, carry more than 2 persons i.e. driver plus child as a MAXIMUM. In the event that you have more than one child attending the same school then find a friend/relative/partner who must obtain a vehicle of the same type and accompany you on the school run at the same time.

 

It is not allowed to give any other child a lift to school. If their parents cannot afford a suitably sized vehicle (see section 2) then their children don’t deserve to be educated.

 

On arrival, the yellow zig zag lines will be kept clear for your exclusive parking. In the event that the lines are occupied please feel free to park on blind bends, double park, park in front of peoples drives or park completely on the pavement. If possible demand to park on school property. It is your God given right as a 4x4 owner after all!

 

Take as long as possible to deposit your child at the school directly at the school gates. In the event that no parking is available immediately outside the gate you may park on the yellow zig zag lines for as long as necessary until a space becomes available.

 

At no time should your child be required to walk any distance to the school gates. High levels of strenuous exercise such as this can be harmful to your child’s obesity level.

 

Once the child is in school do not be in a hurry to depart. Leave your vehicle parked wherever it is and look around to find drivers of similar vehicles.

 

Having found other drivers please engage them in totally meaningless conversation for at least one hour. This will ensure that other road users will be inconvenienced as much as possible. Gathering in a large group on the pavement is also a good way of antagonising pedestrians as well.

 

When collecting your child at the end of school ensure that you arrive at least one hour early and please follow the parking instructions as above

 

To occupy waiting time, follow the instruction is section 10) until your child comes out of school.

 

All drivers are to attempt to pull up outside the school gates at the same time. This is to ensure that no child has to wait for long before being collected.

 

On the way home please call in at your local supermarket for some shopping. Don’t forget to park in the ‘Mother and Baby’ area even though your offspring is 16. Allow your child to run riot when inside if possible and encourage him/her to scream as loudly as possible whilst running about. After all, checkout operators do need some form of distraction in their mundane job. 

 

On arriving home make sure your child rests properly, after all he has to do it all again tomorrow!

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It's all true!!

No word of a lie...this morning taking my lorry ( 27t gross,13m long) down a narrow lane with passing places.

Lady on school run drives up onto the verge ....not wanting to waste a second .. and parks her Range Rover in a 4' ditch. Luckily I was there to pull it out ?

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I used have to pass my local village school in the morning.  There was a lane coming out at the side of the school. Mothers used to pull out of this lane regardless of anyone on the main road.

I fitted wind tone horns on my Reliant.

That didn't just stop them...It made  them back up the lane before they even looked to see what was coming. Oh happy days!!

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I personally have owned large 4x4 7 seaters for many years.

I would like it to be known that at no time have I ever done a "school run".

They are extremely useful vehicles where I live and I have used them on many a "rescue mission" like Cymaz.

Some years ago I made an interesting discovery (no pun intended).

If you remove the (useless) rear 2 seats you can get more models in the back !  :classic_smile:

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