By continuing to use this site, you agree to our use of cookies. Find out more
Forum sponsored by:
Forum sponsored by CML

Sign of the times - funnies

funnies...

All Topics | Latest Posts

Search for:  in Thread Title in  
TonyS23/10/2010 12:09:38
avatar
1145 forum posts
323 photos
Chap meets colleague at mind-readers conference  "You're well, how am I?"
David Ashby - Moderator23/10/2010 15:39:46
avatar
Moderator
11011 forum posts
1714 photos
615 articles
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes, I phoned her later for a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs
 
 
00123/10/2010 17:12:58
2212 forum posts
1 photos
David, 'your stories are old, but you tell them well! '
 
(Quoted from Jon Voight character in which Sean Penn film)
00123/10/2010 21:29:54
2212 forum posts
1 photos
I was visiting a hospital and a man in a kilt kept shouting "Och aye the noo".
 
I asked a nurse, is this a mental hospital?
 
 She said "No. it's a burns unit!"
David Ashby - Moderator24/10/2010 06:52:58
avatar
Moderator
11011 forum posts
1714 photos
615 articles
Don't know the film Richard......
 
A man sees his doctor..........
"Help me doc, I keep singing  The Green Green Grsss of Home!"
"Sounds like Tom Jones syndrome I'd say"
"Is it common"
"It's not unusual"
 
 
 
 
 
Stephen Grigg24/10/2010 07:52:44
avatar
8691 forum posts
1128 photos
Guy was born with 5 willies,underpants fitted like a glove--------------boom boom
00124/10/2010 14:37:17
2212 forum posts
1 photos
The film was......'U-Turn'.. Quite quirky but good.
 
The following is apparently true.
 
A visitor went to a municipal swimming pool for the first time. She said to the lifeguard "Why is that section of the pool roped off?"
 
The answer "That's the warm section, for the pensioners!"
Myron Beaumont24/10/2010 14:50:56
avatar
5797 forum posts
51 photos
Adressing the little girl in plaits the teacher said :
"Mary, come up to the map and point out Tasmania to me ".
Mary did so.
"And now Ned ," she said to a little kid in the front row,"Who discovered Tasmania ?"
"Mary did,"he said
ken anderson.26/10/2010 19:36:20
avatar
8681 forum posts
807 photos
Stop Press.............................
 
 the man who fell in the upholstrey machine is fully recovered.....   
 
 
 ken anderson.....ne....1...
ken anderson.26/10/2010 19:38:18
avatar
8681 forum posts
807 photos

 
stop press 2 .....................
 
 she was engaged to  a man with a wooden leg-but broke it off....   
 
 ken anderson     ne....1.
ken anderson.31/10/2010 16:15:54
avatar
8681 forum posts
807 photos
30 year's of marriage to florence: jim the plumber left his wife.the note on the kitchen table simply read............."it's over flo"......      
 
 
   happy halloween...ken anderson    ne...1.
Chris Hemming31/10/2010 21:08:51
4 forum posts
Wife came home from work one day, and said that she had been asking all her friends what the best procedure was for breast enlargement, apparently several had been recommended, but they were all rather expensive.
 
Eager to help my beloved, I suggested she lie face down on the setee, and press her chest firmly against the cushions.
 
When she asked me how this was going to make her breasts bigger, I said,"well, It's worked for your bum"
 
And THATS how the fight started !
Eric Bray31/10/2010 21:38:55
avatar
6600 forum posts
2 photos
I read on the news that the Nintendo wii wasn't selling too well. That triggered the thought that if they produced a hand-held version, would it be the wee wii?
inspector956631/10/2010 21:54:20
239 forum posts
wee wii ? hand held ? dont shake it around to much you might get moderated for indecent suggestions eric
ken anderson.05/11/2010 11:58:00
avatar
8681 forum posts
807 photos
there's something i need to tell you all but it's really hard to say.......................
 
 
 
 
 
 Ken Dodd's dad's dogs dead......          
 
 
     ken anderson    ne...1..(land of laughter)...
flytilbroke05/11/2010 18:34:53
avatar
2083 forum posts
5 photos
What is the world record for fast repeat of,,,,
 
I am a very pleasant pheasant plucker
Eric Bray06/11/2010 19:29:54
avatar
6600 forum posts
2 photos
Cucumber repeats faster!
 
Man's dog was proper poorly, so he took it to the Vet.
Vet picked up the dog, and looked into it's sad brown eyes, then he looked at the shiny wet nose, then the floppy ears, and said - "Sorry, I will have to put the dog down."
Man, thoroughly distraught says "Is it that bad, then?"
Vet says -  "Yes, the animal is flippin' heavy!"
TonyS06/11/2010 22:24:23
avatar
1145 forum posts
323 photos
Two monkeys in the bath....
 
First monkey...  "Ooh ooh  ooh, haa haa haa,  eeeh  eeeh"
 
 
Second monkey... "Well if it's too hot, put some more cold in"
 
 
JayCee06/11/2010 22:31:46
avatar
507 forum posts
117 photos
A man went to the doctors:-
 
Man:-  'Doc I have a terrible memory'
 
Doc:- How long has that been going on?
 
Man:- How long has what been going on!
 
JC

Edited By JayCee on 06/11/2010 22:32:25

00107/11/2010 09:06:21
2212 forum posts
1 photos
I went to the library and borrowed a book called 'Secrets of the Hebrides'.
 
 
 
I was disappointed, it was full of pictures of a Scottish island!

All Topics | Latest Posts

Please login to post a reply.

Latest Forum Posts
Support Our Partners
CML
electricwingman 2017
Slec
Sussex Model Centre
Advertise With Us
Sarik
Latest "For Sale" Ads
Has home isolation prompted you to start trad' building?
Q: The effects of Coronavirus

 Yes - for the first time
 Yes - but Ive bashed balsa before
 No - Ive existing projects on the bench
 No - Im strictly an ARTF person

Latest Reviews
Digital Back Issues

RCM&E Digital Back Issues

Contact us

Contact us

Magazine Locator

Want the latest issue of RCM&E? Use our magazine locator link to find your nearest stockist!

Find RCM&E!