By continuing to use this site, you agree to our use of cookies. Find out more
Forum sponsored by:
Forum sponsored by CML

Sign of the times - funnies

funnies...

All Topics | Latest Posts

Search for:  in Thread Title in  
ken anderson.29/01/2009 12:12:00
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
what about the old modeller who went to the doc's and enquired.....
 
"i don't drink,smoke.swear or have anything to do with women!!!.................will i live to be 100?"
 
 no replies the doc............ but it will seem that long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......
 
      ken anderson.
Phil Wood.29/01/2009 12:46:20
avatar
3638 forum posts
27 photos
Or the wrinkled grey haired man with a walking stick sitting on a park bench.
In conversation with a stranger he says,   " I've smoked 60 a day since I was 13 years old, I've had sex with more women than I can remember and I've drank a bottle of whiskey a day since I was 16.
"Good grief!!" said the stranger,  "how old are you now" ?
 
"36" was the reply.
 
Polyphilla.
Myron Beaumont29/01/2009 13:41:26
avatar
5797 forum posts
51 photos
Stood waiting for a train in Redruth station I struck up a conversation with an old chap
Where are you going ?-I asked
Oh I'm not going anywhere I'm waiting for my brother to arrive from Australia who I 'avn't seen for 30 years
He must have changed then how will you recognise him-I said
Oh  He'll recognise ME 'cos I havn't been anywhere
ken anderson.29/01/2009 18:01:51
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
things are getting bad---
 
the police have just identified the fully clothed body found hidden in the partition wall of a house under renovation in surrey.............
 
a police spokesman informed the public he had been identified as the 1956 irish world hide and seek champion!!
 
                                  ken anderson.
Phil Wood.29/01/2009 18:15:12
avatar
3638 forum posts
27 photos
Why wasn't Jesus born on Merseyside?
 
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
 
Polyphilla.
ken anderson.29/01/2009 18:37:29
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
this should open the floodgates..........................................................me mother in law has just been served with an asbo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!---for attacking rottwiellers
 
                                    ken anderson.
ken anderson.01/02/2009 19:16:19
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
all this talk about lipo's reminds me of the following------------
 
the police caught two lad's -one eating firework's---the other drinking the fluid out of car batteries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
they charged one and let the other one off..........................
 
                              ken anderson......
Myron Beaumont01/02/2009 20:34:18
avatar
5797 forum posts
51 photos
Do you know what the young girl said to the sailor?
Eric Bray01/02/2009 22:43:46
avatar
6600 forum posts
2 photos
Where's your narrow-boat moored?!
00102/02/2009 08:11:49
2212 forum posts
1 photos
The BBC sent a reporter round to a man's house on his 100th Birthday. "How do you explain your long life?" Said the young man.
Reply. "I have never drunk alcohol, not a drop, ever."
At the same moment there was a terrible crashing sound from the next room that went on for several seconds. "Whats that?!"
 
"Oh it's my dad, he's drunk again"
Groan.
Myron Beaumont02/02/2009 08:32:41
avatar
5797 forum posts
51 photos
Eric   The answer was   NO!
Broken Prop02/02/2009 09:46:48
avatar
595 forum posts
1 photos
I went the bank for a loan.
The manager said that he was worried about liquidity.
I wasn't sure if he was talking about my company or his.........
ken anderson.05/02/2009 20:41:27
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
don't know how many people noticed on the national news a couple of week's ago that
'egrington smythe brownlow the 3rd' who was acknowledged as the father/inventor of the crossword as we know it today had died aged 98 years---his last wish was to be buried in an unmarked grave in his home town of huddersfield.----rip.
 
anybody who want's to pay their last respect's to the great man can do so by going through the cemetery gates---walk four graves down and six graves across to the left and you will find his plot.
 
                    ken anderson............
Eric Bray08/02/2009 00:09:48
avatar
6600 forum posts
2 photos
Myron, I thought about putting - I can't see a golden nail - but thought that Tim might delete it!
Tim Mackey08/02/2009 09:36:04
avatar
20919 forum posts
304 photos
15 articles
Myron Beaumont08/02/2009 09:51:08
avatar
5797 forum posts
51 photos
Can you explain please ?   I don't get it .( & my smilies have stopped again )
Jim Carss08/02/2009 10:09:18
avatar
2066 forum posts
80 photos
Ken
 
Do you get your jokes from a Bobby Thompson DVD
ken anderson.08/02/2009 18:44:41
avatar
8437 forum posts
772 photos
hello jim---no/other way round/he got some off my dvd's-----other good one is bobby patterson---lives over your way---he's got a canny spread/by the look on it.........................................wey aye man..
 
                                    ken anderson.
Phil Claridge08/02/2009 23:03:18
avatar
1924 forum posts
32 photos
showing your age there eric, most peeps call it the golden rivet nowadays
Phil Claridge08/02/2009 23:06:26
avatar
1924 forum posts
32 photos
eric myron repaired boats not built them lol

All Topics | Latest Posts

Please login to post a reply.

Magazine Locator

Want the latest issue of RCM&E? Use our magazine locator link to find your nearest stockist!

Find RCM&E! 

Latest Forum Posts
Support Our Partners
electricwingman 2017
Cambridge Gliding Club
CML
Slec
Gliders Distribution
Pepe Aircraft
Wings & Wheels 2019
Sarik
Advertise With Us
Latest "For Sale" Ads
New Poll - Sticky situations...
Q: How often - when using superglue - do you end up with it on your fingers?

 Every time
 Occasionally
 Sometimes
 Rarely
 Never
 Wear rubber gloves

Latest Reviews
Digital Back Issues

RCM&E Digital Back Issues

Contact us

Contact us