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Sign of the times - funnies

funnies...

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Chris C14/04/2009 18:38:13
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haha

ken anderson.19/04/2009 19:40:44
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what about the bloke who went to the doc's complaining of poor eyesite?........
 
"come outside say's the doc"--"look up.........what can you see?"
 
 "the sun"............
 
"how far do you want to see" reply's the doc...............
 
 
 
 
         beat that........ken anderson.................
ken anderson.24/04/2009 14:59:37
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you'll have to be from the north east to understand the following..............................two lad's talking away.one say's "me marrow won the leek show".............
 
 
                ken anderson...............
RonSpencerUK24/04/2009 15:30:24
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What about the man who went to the doctor and wanted  something for persistant wind.

The doctor gave him a kite! 
Al Dee26/04/2009 13:37:43
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I would like to send birthday wishes to fellow Northumbrian Ken Anderson's Joke.  Happy 100th to you all.
Eric Bray26/04/2009 23:10:26
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Ken, I thought Leek was near Stafford?
Or is it in Holland? (Something to do with thumbs in walls?)
And then the Welsh have leeks all over the place, don't they, Tim!
And - termarrer never comes - in Cornwall.
ken anderson.27/04/2009 15:19:29
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hello al-i read your 'more about me'--liked the wedding night advice from your dad...................
 
                  ken anderson..............
                
 
Al Dee27/04/2009 19:49:48
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Thanks Ken
I also like the story about my mother not knowing my dad was a drinker.  Then he came home one night sober.
We club secretary's must stick together.  By the way we have invited Roger Bellingham from the BMFA to visit CADMAC at our next meeting.  We are sending out invitations to other NE Area clubls to send up to two members to attend.  Date is 13th May Time is 8.00pm The venue is at the Keel Row, Seaton Delaval.  You can ring me on 01670 733096 or email me at al.dee@tiscali.co.uk
Al Dee27/04/2009 19:55:05
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An irishman talking to his mate,  "I see youve burnt your ear Paddy".  "Yes I was doing the ironing when the phone rang and I forgot that it was the iron I was holding and put it to my ear.  I certainly dropped it quick".  "Then why is your other burnt as well".  "Bloke rang me back didn't he".

Edited By Timbo - Moderator on 27/04/2009 20:47:11

Clive Matthews27/04/2009 20:05:22
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For Ken only!
 
Fellow walks into an Ashington hairdressers and say's 'I want a perm'. Hairdresser replies 'Mary had a little lamb..........'
Customer - 'No no, I want to be curled!'
Hairdresser - 'Well leave yer coat here and stand outside!'.
 
Non Northumbrians don't even try!
ken anderson.27/04/2009 20:10:07
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8437 forum posts
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what about the bloke -get's a phone call 1 o clock in the morning-get's out of bed answer's the phone say's-"it's the lifeboat you want"
 
there lass say's "who was it"?
 
he answer's-"some bloke wanting to know is the coast clear".....
 
               ken anderson..........
Andy Freeman27/04/2009 21:09:21
623 forum posts
72 photos
Reminds me of another Ashington Joke. Involves a dented car, a curb and "bob a job week"
 
Any Northumbrians care to have a guess?

Chris C28/04/2009 07:44:12
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395 forum posts
17 photos
I KNOW.............................................................................no i don't really...........OR do i?  
ken anderson.28/04/2009 07:48:06
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8437 forum posts
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you've got me andy??
 
 ken anderson.................
Jim Carss28/04/2009 09:46:01
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Ken,you have never heard Brendan Healey before ??,Ashington have a language all of their own
Curb        as in kerb stone  or junior boy scout
Blurred     stuff htat runs through your veins   nowt to do with vision
Perm        mary had a little lamb  nowt to do with hair dressing
 
Jim 
Jim Carss28/04/2009 09:56:02
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2066 forum posts
80 photos
Ken.
 
One of little Bobbys,
 
Guy knocks on door----Your dog is chasing everybody on a bike
 
Little bobby -------------Take the bike of it then.
 
Jim
ken anderson.28/04/2009 10:00:05
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8437 forum posts
772 photos
bet ther'es not many know what you mean when you ask for an ice cream with "monkey's blood" on it............... ..
 
                 ken anderson...............

Edited By ken anderson. on 28/04/2009 10:00:23

Andy Freeman28/04/2009 10:07:47
623 forum posts
72 photos
LOL...Next door are from down south somewhere. There kids were round ours last summer and i got them all an ice cream. I asked who want monkeys blood and you shuld have seen their faces! Not only did they not have a clue what I was talking about they were also veggies too!
 
Kind of spoiled having to explain it was strawberry syrup
Jim Carss28/04/2009 10:07:47
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2066 forum posts
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Should that not be monkeys blurred
 
Jim
Jim Carss28/04/2009 10:17:51
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2066 forum posts
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Andy / Ken
 
best ice cream in the world   Riggys at Seaton Delaval.
 
You can tell its raining over Cramlington and Blyth,this computer is red hot

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