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Sign of the times - funnies

funnies...

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Andy Freeman28/04/2009 10:25:01
623 forum posts
72 photos
Its raining up here in Longhoughton too..
 
My dad likes that ice cream. The cafe looks like it hasnt changed much since the late 60's either!
Andy Freeman28/04/2009 10:29:36
623 forum posts
72 photos
Right, im off to work now so you Gentlemen of leisure can flit twixt this site and helping the ecomony by buying stuff online. 
 
 
Phil Claridge28/04/2009 16:45:50
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1924 forum posts
32 photos
working ot the railway we call tomato sauce train train smash or jumper juice
ken anderson.28/04/2009 19:58:51
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
hard times-when i was a lad and my dad was out of work---i remember every day he used to go out at 11.00am looking for work............he would return at 3.00pm totally done in staggering up the street...and when he got in the house he would start being sick with all the worry and have to go to bed......... ....
 
the above is an alan snell gag(pure gold)
 
 
            ken anderson.............
Al Dee29/04/2009 11:42:59
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57 forum posts
17 photos
When my Dad used to got out every sunday morning we kids would ask me mam Wheres me Fatha gone mam.  She would reply Ti chorch bonny lad.  Were the prayer books have got handles and the holy water flows freely.
ken anderson.02/05/2009 07:46:02
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
holidays-reading one of the post's about egypt reminded me of the the two lasses on hol there...........................
 
first one said-"you've got to admire the pyramid's-them being one of the wonder's of the world and that"...............................................
 
her friend replies--"yes but i think that they built them too close to the houses!!!".....
 
            'shalom'...........ken anderson.....................
 
 

Edited By ken anderson. on 02/05/2009 07:53:21

Al Dee02/05/2009 13:36:00
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57 forum posts
17 photos
Old Jokes never die they find a resting place in Ken Andersons Bumper Joke Book.
 
Two women talking
Posh one: "My husband is a sea captain and he works for Cunard".
Workers Wife: "My husbands a miner, and he works quite hard too"
 
For those not conversant with this joke try saying it quickly.
Klippy03/05/2009 15:36:53
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750 forum posts
13 photos
One of my friends finally gave up smoking last week, when he got to the Pearly gates, there's St Peter waiting. St Pete starts grilling him about his life. As they're talking a big Rolls comes by with Gordon Brown lettered on the door.
My friend interupts St Pete and says 'hey, he was still down there when I left!' St Peter says, 'Oh yes, this is Heaven, you get any car you want, with your name on the door. That was God, he only thinks he's Gordon Brown!'
ken anderson.07/05/2009 11:12:38
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
to celebrate the momentus milestone of 600 post's..here's a corny old gag............
 
a farmer notice's a car parked at the bottom of his field-window's all steamed up etc.......!
 
knock's on the car window ask's what's going on?.......young lad open's window and explain's to the farmer that he and his girlfreind are living on the fruit's of love.....
 
the farmer ask's him to stop thrown his skin's out of the window as their choking his chicken's.................
 
              ken anderson......................................
ken anderson.19/05/2009 15:08:01
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
what about the sign outside the restuarant----watershipdown-'you've seen the film--now come in and eat the cast '..........................................
 
 ken anderson...................
Stephen Grigg19/05/2009 15:59:52
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8691 forum posts
1128 photos
Keep them coming Ken right up to 700
ken anderson.19/05/2009 16:12:39
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
ther's more - but i dare'nt put them on here i'll get thrown oot...................
 
               ken on his way to 700 anderson........... clean's ones are best.......'s
ken anderson.02/06/2009 19:58:52
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
year's ago when i was a young lad-i was telling my gran freda that i was intending to learn to fly model plane's--she said if you ever do i'll turn in my grave!!!
 
a couple of week's ago my wife attended a seance and the lady in charge said to my wife---i'm in touch with someone called spinning freda who wish's to talk to you..............
 
        ken anderson.............'s

Edited By ken anderson. on 02/06/2009 19:59:20

Phil Wood.02/06/2009 20:02:17
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3638 forum posts
27 photos
I'll bet you asked   "What KV?" 
 
Polygone
ken anderson.02/06/2009 20:32:52
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
go on phil-what about the lone ranger---went into the saloon for a pint said to tonto--"you wait here" -"have a look up and down i'll not be long"----"ok keema sabbi"..........
 
 
5 min's later in comes another cowboy ask's-" are you the lone ranger"--"sure am --why..?"
 
   "you've left you're injun running outside"..........
 
 
             ken anderson.....am running oot of joke's..............'s...
ken anderson.02/06/2009 20:38:20
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
what about the two policemen find the dead body in northumberland street newcastle?
 
the young pc say's to the sergant--how do you spell northumberland street sarg?
 
the sarg replies---pull him into grey street!........
 
    ken anderson............'s...
ken anderson.26/06/2009 11:30:59
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8425 forum posts
772 photos
the latest gag-a man go'es to see a doc - doc ask's "what's the problem?"..."it's not me" replys the man" it's my brother he think's he's an orange!"........
 
"an orange"--"you better tell him to come and see me"..........asap......
 
"i've got him here in my pocket!!"...........replies the man.................'s....
 
 
 beat that one ken anderson............'s..........
Myron Beaumont26/06/2009 12:05:10
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5797 forum posts
51 photos
OK Ken
(Geordie logic )
Whi Aay  pet , here's  the five puwnds I borrowed last week.
Thanks geordie,I had forgotten about it.
Then why the bloody hell didn't yer say so ?
 
Myron Beaumont26/06/2009 12:15:27
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5797 forum posts
51 photos
A Geordie alcoholic believes a teetotaller is someone who practises moderation to excess, and abstinence is okay provided you do it in moderation
Myron Beaumont26/06/2009 12:19:20
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5797 forum posts
51 photos
The advert for the kitchen gadget said it was so marvellous it would cut the housework in half so 'er indoors bought two

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